“What in the World Can I Do to Help My Child at Home?”

Every child is different and the strategies we use for one may not work for another. Knowing your child and how they react within their environment and with the individuals in their world will help you choose strategies tailored to their specific needs.

One thing I know is it is much easier to avoid a meltdown than it is to have to deal with one if you can help it.

There are strategies that have been researched and proven to be successful in reducing behavior and/or increasing behavior we want to see. Preventing maladaptive behavior from occurring is always preferable. Some strategies that may be helpful to you at home are what follows.

Strategy #1

Divert the child's attention with objects and toys they like. Develop a “Meltdown Kit” that has these items as well as sensory things your child can play with to divert their attention.

Strategy #2

Teach your child to communicate when they are upset. You can use PECS pictures or other stock pictures they can access to show you how they feel if they are not able to tell you.

Strategy #3

Offer alternatives to something that is not possible that the child wants. This will help them feel like they have some control over the situation. Limit your choices to two so your child does not become overwhelmed. For example, you could ask, “Would you like the cookie or the car?”

Strategy #4

Too much talking can contribute to severe maladaptive behavior. Words can be overstimulating to your child at this time. Our need to explain becomes additional input and too many things to process. Sometimes just giving your child time to decompress and self-regulate quietly is the most helpful thing you can do as parents.

Strategy #5

Changing our behavior or our reaction to our child’s behavior is sometimes a strategy we need to consider. If we as parents are doing something to reinforce our child’s maladaptive behavior inadvertently, we need to determine what we are doing and change our own behavior.

If I request that my child sits down to eat dinner, and I state that if they do not sit, they do not eat until they do. What happens when they do not sit and are allowed to eat walking around the room? I have then reinforced behavior I want to stop. Changing my own behavior can help change my child’s.

Strategy #6

Giving your child a “Heads up” about what is coming next can really help with transition problems. You can use a timer to give your child a countdown so transitioning to something new is not so disturbing. Some children need reminders as the time is winding down to 2 minutes, 1 minute, etc. and some kids do not understand the concept of numbers or “counting down. For these children, a visual timer might be a great idea. I use one on my phone called “Children’s Countdown Timer.” I downloaded the app from Google Play. This app is very engaging visually and auditorily. Kids really love it!

Strategy #7

Some children have language processing difficulties and comprehend pictures better. For these individuals, using a “First this ______, Then this _____” strip is a great option. You can use pictures to depict what needs to be done first and then what will happen after. Again, keep the verbalization to a minimum.

Strategy #8

Parental expectations and follow-through must always be consistent. Without consistency our children do not know what is coming next.

For instance, if you tell your child that you will do a preferred activity with them if they play quietly for 10 minutes, you must follow through. Your consistent behavior will set the groundwork for your child to begin to understand that they will get to do something fun with you if they comply with your request. Over time they will be able to do this on their own and for longer periods of time. This is just one example but can be applied to many situations.

If you do not implement expectations with consistency and follow through on what you say you will do, your child will not know what to expect. Not knowing what to expect can lead to maladaptive behavior. It may also leave your child feeling anxious because they do not know what to expect.

Strategy #9

If possible, try not to use words that tend to cause behavior. The word “No” is one of these words. You can say “Yes, first _____, then ____.” If no is unavoidable then try to redirect your child to another activity.

Strategy #10

We touched on this earlier in this blog post. Allowing your child to make choices is a great way to keep maladaptive behavior from occurring. You will control the choices, and your child gets to pick. It is a win-win situation!

Strategy #11

Visual schedules is a very effective strategy to use with our children. These schedules allow individuals to see what is coming up in their day, so things become predictable. A visual schedule can be as simple or as intricate as your child requires.

These strategies are all useful if your child responds to them. Keep in mind though, not all children will respond the same or even the way we want them to respond. The July blog is going to give you a list of my Top Five Resources to help you as parents.